When Homicide Is the Leading Cause of Death

Many are unaware that homicide by an intimate partner is the leading cause of death among pregnant women and women of infants. Below are a few recent examples of such common tragedies that have been in the news. Visit our page “How To Help Victims” to learn how you can assist women in these dire circumstances.

Evaluation of death certificates from national database paints a grim picture for pregnant women.


Suspected father allegedly shot and killed the mother of a 3-month-old baby as she was pushing a baby carriage with the infant inside on Wednesday, authorities said. Reportedly the abuse began while she was pregnant and she was attempting to set boundaries with her batterer.


The ex-boyfriend beheaded an 8-month-old pregnant woman, authorities said. Pregnant domestic violence victims are at high-risk for homicide. This is why many choose abortion or adoption. Whether pregnant or not, terminating the toxic relationship is the most lethal time for survivors.


Father hunted down, shot, and killed the mother of a 4-year-old and 1-year-old on Tuesday after she got a protection order and moved to a secret location. One of the kids witnessed the murder. The victim’s brother was also shot. Leaving an abusive relationship (especially being pregnant or with young children) is most delicate and lethal. For many women who find themselves pregnant, abortion is often the only way they can potentially survive. The current law gives batterers rights to the children once born.

Husband murdered pregnant wife, who had searched the internet ‘what to do if your husband is upset your pregnant’, authorities said. Far too many women are navigating life or death scenarios. Be less judgemental – be a good listener.


The Irony of the Pro-Life Movement

Homicide by an intimate partner is the leading cause of death among pregnant women.

The irony of the pro-life movement is they fail to realize homicide by an intimate partner is the leading cause of death among pregnant women.

For many abused women, abortion is the only means to survive.

If she does survive and gives birth, many batterers refuse to consent to adoption thereby permanently entrapping mother and child in a dire life.

To add to her trauma, it’s not uncommon for custody, including sole-custody, to be awarded to the charming and manipulative batterer. Just as they fooled their victim, they can fool the justice system as well.

Regardless of where the child primarily resides, the child learns to adapt to abuse and typically repeats the cycle as either an adult victim or an adult batterer. 

Such perils are the unintended consequences of overturning Roe vs Wade.

Hopefully, with more awareness and education on these dynamics, the generational curses of intimate partner abuse can be broken. To learn more about the delicate dynamics of domestic violence as well as how pregnant women and the fetus are impacted, explore TrueloveHomes.org .

Ponder how you can help save the lives of pregnant victims of domestic violence.

Money Matters to Domestic Violence Victims


Imagine being in an abusive marriage or relationship isolated from your family and friends. Imagine being unemployed for whatever reason while in an abusive marriage – perhaps you are pregnant or doing the endless job of being a stay at home mom. Or, perhaps you are working but don’t earn enough to live off of just your income. Or, you are pregnant and considering making an adoption plan, but your boyfriend / husband controls all the money and refuses to consent to adoption. How will you afford an adoption attorney and the lengthy legal process to protect yourself and the unborn?

Money limitations contributes to a victim’s captivity as many victims are oppressed by financial abuse. With limited resources, she often is forced to stay in the abusive environment or return to her batterer when funding runs out or her time at the shelter has expired {Note: Due to limited space and high demand, many shelters only allow for women to stay a few days up to thirty days}.

Allstate Insurance has a series of online courses to educate and empower victims of domestic abuse with financial choices to aid in their exodus. Allstate’s resources can be found Allstate Foundation Domestic Violence Resources and Purple Purse.

Additionally, you will need to plan for your safety. Never just leave as it may have fatal consequences. Click Here For Safety Planning.

If you are a victim of domestic violence – whether it is verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, or all of the above, be kind to yourself as you sojourn along this dark and wearisome journey. You can make it out but it requires much wisdom, faith, and courage! Remember, leaving isn’t an event. It’s a process!


Leaving is a process not an event. Truth.

Myth #8: The Abuse Must Not Have Been That Bad Or She Would Not Have Returned To Him.

revolvingdoor2 FACT: On average, a victim of abuse will return to her batterer seven to nine times before permanently terminating the relationship.

For those oppressed in domestic violence,

leaving is a process not an event.

When a victim breaks it off with her batterer, she may be trying to decipher if she really can live without him and thrive on her own or not. As mentioned in Myth#7, leaving is an incredibly dangerous time for a victim. It may be in fact safer for her to return to her batterer. The old adage “Keep your friends close and enemies even closer” may prove true for some domestic violence victims. leavingisaprocess Remember, domestic violence is patterns of behavior designed to exert and maintain power and control. A huge factor as to why victims return to their batterers is due to what’s commonly known amongst advocates as “the honeymoon phase” in the deceptive cycle of domestic violence. After the explosion or abusive incident occurs, the couple enters “the honeymoon phase”, where the batterer apologizes, promises change, possibly gets help, etc. A batterer may claim he is a changed man or promise to change, promise to go to counseling, and it will never happen again. Meanwhile, the victim forgives and feels hopeful of change. Life is seemingly good again. cycleofviolence4 You need to understand batterers are not always monsters, which makes it so confusing for the victim. Rather, they may be good providers, hard workers, and most definitely fantastic manipulators. They may even be sincere in their promises of change after the explosion. But more often than not, their promises for change, if it ever was sincere, wears off and the couple enters what’s known as “the tension building phase“. Over a period of time, the victim will eventually notice distinct patterns in their relationship that will signal an explosive moment is in the works. We call this “the tension building phase. Sometime thereafter, another explosion occurs. The victim may once again attempt to terminate the relationship only to be lured back in with grandiose promises of change and vain hope. Cycles of abuse can take place over years, months, weeks, days, or even hours. Couples will often progress through the cycle faster and faster with each episode.

Emotional and verbal abuse are common precursors to physical abuse.

Furthermore, with each cycle, the abuse often worsens and is possibly enhanced with more impacting life events, such as pregnancy or birth of their child. Women who are married to their batterer, have children with him, are pregnant, or have other substantial ties to their batterer have an especially difficult time breaking free from the cyclic patterns of domestic violence. Furthermore, women of faith wrestle with complicated emotions of guilt and shame as more often than not congregants fail to support her and her children’s overall well-being. Rather, some may encourage her to demonstrate grace to her abusive husband while minimizing and enabling the sin of abuse. To further complicate matters for some women of faith, their husbands are not only batterers but even clergy! The same could be said for women married to law enforcement, attorneys, judges, etc. It is less likely a victim will be believed and get assistance from others if the batterer holds an authoritative title. Subsequently, the cycle continues.


Additionally, you will see in the diagram pictured above, that denial propels the cycle. Sadly, there is little to nothing loved ones can do to help victims escape the toxic relationship if she continues to live in denial. The best thing loved ones can do is to educate themselves on domestic violence so that they will be able to assist when she is finally ready to acknowledge the truth of the relationship. One tool that a victim could use to help her identify these patterns in her relationship is to document behavior (i.e. fights, promises of change, good times, etc.) on a private calendar such as on her phone or in a journal.  With such creative and secretive tools, the victim may finally begin to discern and accept the reality of the relationship and seek help. In some ways though, the cycle of abuse becomes like an addiction. A difficult cyclic addition to break; subsequently, it is not uncommon for the victim to experience seven to nine relapses, if you will, before finally moving on to give herself a life free from abuse. It is often easier to embrace a lie than to surrender to the truth.

Myth #5: Once we (fill in the blank), he will no longer abuse me.

weddingabuseFACT: A common thought or vain hope amongst victims of intimate partner violence is that once the couple experiences a major life event together such as getting married or having a baby, then the batterer will no longer abuse. As if magically, things will be better and he or she will no longer behave so poorly. When in fact, the opposite is true.

Typically batterers push for moving in together, buying a house together, getting married, getting pregnant, etc as means to propel their need to control the victim more effectively. Consider it a red flag when your partner wants to rush into a life event after only knowing you for a short period. Countless victims have testified they were beaten on their honeymoons or after buying a home together or even after becoming pregnant. The more serious the commitment, the more the batterer tends to reveal his or her true ideologies of power and control.

For better or for worse, a batterer will use whatever means necessary to gain power and control.

Domestic Violence and Pregnancy: Why It Matters


You wouldn’t think someone would abuse a pregnant women, let alone the father of the unborn child, but it happens every day. We invite you to take a few brief moments to learn the facts about domestic violence, pregnancy, why it matters, and how you can save lives.

  • 1 in 3 women experience abuse sometime in her lifetime. Many women report the abuse began or escalated during pregnancy.


  • Abuse is not always physical. It can be verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, or even spiritual. It is about power and control.
  • Domestic Violence does not discriminate. It does not care what race or age you are or what neighborhood you live in or even how much or little money you have.


  • Studies have proven when a pregnant woman is in an abusive environment, her stress hormones are elevated, altering her unborn baby’s developing brain. Sleep disorders, learning disorders, emotional disorders, and even eating disorders often manifest in a young child’s life when he/she was exposed to domestic violence while in utero.
  • According to the CDC, violence during pregnancy may be more common than gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and neural tube effects.
  • Although an abusive partner may strike anywhere on a pregnant woman’s body, often he will attack her abdomen as a means of hiding any bruising while harming their unborn child.


  • Studies also report violence in pregnancy is often associated with an increase risk of miscarriage, low birth weight babies, fetal injury, preterm labor or death of the unborn.
  • Abuse during pregnancy also has been linked to perinatal and post-partum depression.


  • Assaults cause more pregnancy complications than car accidents or accidental falls.
  • Homicide by an intimate or former partner is the leading cause of death among pregnant women.


At Truelove Homes, we understand the complexity of relationships as well as the dynamics of domestic violence and how it can effect not just your pregnancy, but your very life! You deserve to be safe and even cherished. In the event you feel you may need to move elsewhere to protect yourself, please take the time to browse our online resources, which can assist you along your safe passage.