Myth #6: He’s “saved” so he must be safe.


What If He’s Found Jesus?
One common mistake those of faith make is falling for the batterer’s plea of “I found Jesus…And because I am now saved, I am instantly safe” or some other form of new found faith. A faith leader should not fall for such classic manipulation nor encourage a victim to reconcile with her abuser now that he has “found Jesus” or is suddenly professing to be more involved in religion, whichever religion that may be.  Although we can respect any new found faith in whomever, it will take the renewing of a batterer’s mind and behavior before the batterer can be in an intimate relationship with his victim again {if ever}.

Batterers need to be held accountable for the sin of abuse. We want to be careful not to enable the sinful behavior of the batterer nor send messages to our congregations and communities that abuse of any sort is permitted or swept under the rug simply because a batterer is suddenly repentant and claims to follow a faith. If a batterer wants to demonstrate change, he could enroll and attend a “Batterers Intervention Course”, which is not the same as “Anger Management”, and whatever law enforcement allows. A batterer needs to reinvent himself and be held accountable over a span of years before true transformation is manifested.

8 thoughts on “Myth #6: He’s “saved” so he must be safe.

  1. Denise says:

    I so wish more people understood this truth! My husband (whom I’m separated from) has once again claimed he’s following God now. (This makes… oh… the fifth time.) And now he likes to tell me that it is God who propels him to text me, constantly, despite the fact I’ve asked him to leave me alone. He’s also now able to tell me about how I’m not walking with the Holy Spirit, but I’m living in the flesh because I haven’t allowed him into my house. While others believe him, he’s scaring the heck out of me with such talk!

    • Truelove Homes says:

      Oh, Denise, I am so sorry you have to go through this nightmare. We know that if he is genuinely following God and His direction, your estranged husband will respect your wishes and prove he is changing over a long, safe period of time. I’ll will pray God gives you the wisdom, courage, and strength you need during this difficult time. Isaiah 54 and Psalm 91 helped me. xo

  2. LorenHaas says:

    Plenty of sincere believers have been abusive as well. Luther and Calvin were anti-Semites and condoned murdering non-conforming Christians. Eminent American preachers Jonathan Edwards and George Whitefield owned slaves and Whitefield was instrumental in legalizing slavery in Georgia. Being Christian does not insure perfect behavior or even that they are not self-justifying predators. Judge folks by their behavior not by their pronouncements and associations.

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